Thursday, 14 July 2016

Husband cheats on wife with the nanny

Photo source: News20

Cheating is not a new topic, we read about it everywhere. It's not just happening only in Nigeria but outside Nigeria too. Husbands cheating on their wife. Husbands having affairs with the maid/nanny, or wife's sister or friend, e.t.c.

I was scrolling through Vanguard's website when I saw this post in the relationship section " The nanny was a better option than his wife", I kept on scrolling after seeing that post because I thought, we have heard or read a lot of stories with that title, but when I found no other posts interesting to me, as this first post kept nagging at me to read, I had to go back to it.

Below is an extract from Mr Roger's story on Vanguard by Bunmi Sofola...

"Muji is not your run-of-the-mill maid".

"My marriage to Rita, my wife of 18 years was breaking down, and falling in love with Muji just speeded things up". 

"It was very obvious in the past few years since we had our first child that Fikayo’s heart wasn’t in it when we had sex. It was more frustrating than hurtful".

"Up till then, we’d (Muji and Roger) had no physical contact but when I held her in my arms, made love to her and saw how responsive she was, I knew that was the type of response I’d longed for from a woman for a very long time".

"I had to tell Fikayo weeks later about how I felt....... my wife kicked me out of the house. I had to plead with her to take Muji back.....The children need not suffer as my wife couldn’t really look after them half as much as Muji did".

"Muji loves and worships the earth I tread on...."

Hmmm.....I wonder what must be going through your mind as you read this extract, because a lot of things were going through mine as I read this story.

Why do some men i.e the married men, cheat on their wives. Why destroy your family because you can't cope with the current situation in the marriage.

In the story, there was no mention of Mr. Roger and his wife seeking marriage counselling, so we can know if he tried to fix his marriage. The affair began from Mr. Roger just confiding in Muji over issues he and Fikayo were facing, to confessing their "love" for each other and finally to them having sex abi "making love".

According to Mr. Roger, people in his situation most often confide in the person they see often, and Muji was the person for him, as he worked from home. 

My question to the men that cheat on their wives, the affairs usually all begin from just "confiding" in their female friends. Where are  your male friends, parents and/ siblings to talk about such matters? Why do you have to discuss such matters with someone in your employ? Does your boss - the man/woman paying your salary- discuss all their marital problems with you?

Muji was sent to them as a possible help. She did all the chores and he expects his wife not to become lazy, really? If the maid was sent away, won't your wife cope without her?, was she not doing all the chores before Muji came?

Sex as usual seems to be at the center of why people cheat. His first complaint was that his wife's heart wasn't in it when they had sex. My question to men with this same reason, did you discuss this issue with your wife? Did you try to find out why she's not that responsive during sex with you? What if she was molested or raped and thus this has affected her sex life?

My advice to such men,is, don't destroy your marriage because of flimsy excuses, especially if it's about sex.

Marriage is a life partnership. It's not sweet all the time, there are hard times too, but you need to find a way to move past such difficult times. It's like running a business, not every time there's profit, there are some losses too, but you just have to find your way back up and regain those losses.

Photo source: News cult
This picture sums up my point. Bill Masters is an asshole. He cheats on his wife, telling his mistress/assistant/project partner that they were having sex just for the research project. Meanwhile, he refuses to sleep with his wife, only when it suits him, does he use her to fulfil his own need. Men *sigh*.

Thanks for reading. 


1 comment:

  1. My major issue is that if the case was reverse, he won't take it.